get out of your head

‘If our paths cross again in life, i hope we’ll have a chance to hear it’

Social Media

I’m always asked why I make and delete accounts in matters of months, and all I can reply with is that social media is not for me. Whenever I make Instagram or Twitter, I have the option of keeping my followers all females or allowing males to follow me as well. And to be honest, having all females on your account is pretty boring. Not to say that I am in search of any male interaction, but the diversity on your timeline expands once you expand who you allow to follow you. And that is where the moral conflict begins- and the exact reason I delete and try to stay off. I usually start my account with all females, and then start drifting into letting not so bad looking males follow me- and then I start questioning why I even have the account. And its not to say that these males are quiet followers, but they try to interact and pursue relationships. And I personally don’t know how to say no- ask me a question, and ill answer it. And thats exactly why I currently only use my WordPress, LinkedIn (may be deleted soon), and my email.

However, my favourite pick up line has to be, ‘is your full name really Lynn?’

For the sake of Allah

I had dinner with a friend today, and we discussed the idea of abandoning sins for the sake of Allah. She went on to tell me about what it actually meant to leave something for His sake alone. She continued to discuss the idea of leaving something for the sake of Allah. And not allowing yourself to be consumed by it, and not continuously making du’aa for it.

I remember being in a relationship that was on again, off again – and this relationship was something i really wanted to succeed in. So, what does my relationship history have to do with leaving sins or aspects of your life for the sake of Allah- in pursuit of something better. Well, this relationship wasn’t spiritually healthy for both parties and i truly believe we continued to part ways because of it. But being the hopeless romantic that I am, I didn’t stop making du’aa for the success of that relationship. And i thought that was completely okay, until today.

Again, to leave something for the sake of Allah- is to completely abandon it, rectify your affairs, and to move forward. Allowing better things to come forward, and leaving what was maybe never meant to be in the past.

Go all the way with it. Do not back off. For once, go all the goddamn way with what matters.

Ernest Hemingway

financial burden

I don’t want to complain, and this piece is not a complaint rather it is a form of catharsis for me.

I personally, as with many other individuals I know do our best to pay whatever we can without showing the difficulty of doing so. Working most, if not all the time and not having the luxury of spending as you like is pretty difficult. And to also have the stress of worrying about whether or not you’ll have enough to pay this bill, or that bill. I mean, the stress of having to pay certain bills is nowhere near the stress our parents are under. But to be very young and having to deal with such ‘adult’ things is tough.

And contrary to popular belief the amount of females around my age pitching in with phone bills, electricity bills, and the rent is surprisingly great. I remember a friend of mine sharing her ideas, or her thoughts on dropping out of school so she could work full-time. I asked her why she wanted to drop out, and work full-time when she could graduate and work as many hours as she’d like. She said she wanted to drop out, to help her mother out with her bills.

And this is the sad truth.

I am by no means blaming the parents; Allah only knows how hard they work. But its hard. Can we at least recognize how difficult it is? Suffering with such a burden silently, and alone. Nonetheless, Alhamdulillah.

I ask Allah to aid those in need, to provide for them, and to give to them whatever it is that they need. I ask Him to make the daughters of this Ummah stronger, I ask Him to reward them.

I ask Him to reward them. Ameen

graveyards

I remember the year my mother’s mother passed away (may her soul rest in peace), and how difficult it was on my mother’s family.

A year ago I had the opportunity to visit her grave (being the first time I had ever met her). It was a Friday afternoon, and my uncle had come back from Jummah. He picked my sister, two cousins, and I up from the house and we made our way to the graveyard. The drive was fairly long however as we approached my uncle instructed us to start reciting some Quran. So we did, and the reality of the situation had then hit.

We approached the gates to the graveyard, and the graveyard keeper let us in. We had then parked nearest to where my grandmother was buried and made our way out of the car. My uncle instructed us to each grab watering cans and to fill them up with as much water as we could carry. Soon after we made our way to where my grandmother was buried, and began to make duaa for her. As we went around and made duaa, each person took the opportunity to pour some water on top of where she was buried (this was done to ensure that the sand wouldn’t rise and if there was no one to water it, it would). As we were watering, we all couldn’t help but cry. But we continued to water, and our uncle insisted that we water neighboring graves incase no one came to visit that day. After we had emptied the watering cans we made our way back to the car, and had left the graveyard with heavy hearts.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that death is a reminder for the living, and wallahi the accuracy of this statement is undoubtedly true. When we think of the deceased, we think of ourselves and the situations we are currently in. We assess the things we’ve done, are doing, and plan to do.

This visit allowed me to see something in myself. This visit allowed me to understand the importance of time, and the need for me to worship Him the best way I know how.

May Allah forgive the deceased, and the living May He protect them, and allow them admittance into Jannah. May He guide and open our hearts. Ameen ya Rabb.

looking for love in a coffee shop

I’ve always romanticized the idea of meeting someone, and falling in love at a coffee shop. Ideally Tim Hortons wouldn’t be my first option, but living in Toronto I may have to settle.

So this is exactly how the rest of my life would begin…

I’d walk in with a new hijab on (my colours are usually dark blues, or reds), I’d order and take a seat closest to the window. The love of my life, the father of my children (not to be so futuristic) would walk in, notice me, and then of course lower his gaze.

As I pretend to be texting, no wait reading a book he finishes up and takes the seat directly behind me. As a side note, i must mention that I appreciate assertiveness in males and an appropriate approach. So i give him another 10 mins (little does he know I’m checking the time, and must be off soon) and lo and behold he makes his way to my table. Keeping a distance, and not intruding by taking a seat, he apologizes for interrupting me and asks if there is any way he could have my contact information. Of course I give it to him (6ft brother with a beard, i couldn’t say no), my email that is and not even out the door and i receive his email.

Fast forward to today, and email after email here we are today.. in love..

i wish.

This hasn’t happened yet, still hopeful to say the least.

my sister

It’s tough to see so many young, intelligent, beautiful womyn fall victim to the males around them. Failing to understand that they are beautiful, and intelligent despite praise they may or may not receive.

I am writing this to any womyn that has felt unworthy at the hands of any male in her life, at the hands of her own insecurities and at the hands of her inability to love herself. I write this to share with you, and to remind you of how special you are. How loved, and respected you are. I want you to understand something; I want you to understand that you are not alone and we have all been there. I want you to understand that we are far more powerful in numbers; fighting together in order to protect ourselves and our sister(s) from feelings of doubt, shame, and worthlessness.

I, as a womyn am capable of so much…

I want you to remind yourself of who you are, and what kind of person you are striving to be. And with that image, ask yourself whether you are building and striving towards that or regressing from it. As human beings we strive to produce images, and associate them with meanings. So take that image of who you are, and what kind of person you are striving to be and run with it, make associations and bring that meaning back into your life.

I, as a womyn am capable of succeeding without the assistance and affirmation of any male…

This idea of only succeeding, or finding success through marriage is neither realistic nor healthy. I want all the young womyn to understand that they’re more then capable of succeeding without male interference. And I want them to understand, that its okay to get married young. But it’s also okay to have a career you are passionate about, as well as working towards improving oneself not only for oneself but the betterment of the relationship as well.

I would like to remind you of how precious, and worthy you are. How gentle, and softhearted you are. And most importantly how appreciated you are. So please, never forget your worth and never allow yourself to be reduced by negative commentary upheld by males.

You are beautiful.